찜질방 with Boyfriend’s Parents – There weren’t enough bones in my body to explain the awkwardness, so I tried to grew a few more.

  I have a ton of stories about being awkward and embarrassed, especially as a foreigner in a foreign country, but I think this one takes the cake. First I’d like to get the definition out of the way though because you’re probably thinking you know the end of this story already, but I promise, it’s a surprise. (Or you can skip to the conclusion)

1) Cultural Comparison Story

  As you may know and may have experienced, saunas like 찜질방 or 岩盤欲 (rock saunas) are common places to go for people of all ages in Asia. I’ve never been to any kind of hot spring or sauna in America… always thought of it as some kind of therapeutic old people place. However I can’t even count how many times I’ve been while in Japan and Korea. For the sake of blog length, I’m not going to talk about hot springs in Asia.

In Japan – 岩盤欲

  These hot rock saunas have tons of saunas at varying temperatures, so you can choose your poison (Personally  I had all the heat tolerance baked out of me by the Texas sun). The floors are usually smooth, natural rock, like granite slabs, or tons of small river rocks. There are bamboo mats inside to lie down on and you bring your small towel so you don’t have to share too much sweat with the previous user.

Before you go to the sauna rooms tho, you stuff your clothes and valuables in a locker and go get naked with all your same sex companions. (unless you’re a little boy, then it’s OK to go hang out with all the naked ladies.) There are tons of different temperature / texture baths which you can soak in after showering, and some of them have electric massage waves, which I’ve been too afraid to try because they have warning labels saying they could fuck up your heart etc… I don’t have a pacemaker, but that makes me feel disinclined.

  There are also sometimes salt saunas where there’s a big vat of coarse salt that you rub all over your body and then let it do it’s magic while you roast. I can’t imagine what would make you feel more like food than being salted and sitting in an oven, but they say it sucks the fat right out of you. (I just felt hot and salty tho)

After you rinse off and change into your sauna wear, you can go visit the sauna rooms. Inside the sauna rooms, it’s usually dark and the majority of people lie down and sleep. And are quiet. And sweaty. Then they leave and go sweat someplace else. If you think you might like to chat with your friends while roasting, think again because while many people think Japanese are repressed, they won’t hesitate to tell you to shut up うるさい！ Or say SHHHhhh!H!#”! So go outside if you want to have a beer and chat. 

Many places have partitions between the rock beds, b/c this is NOT a place for socialization

In Korea – 찜질방

  The basic concept is the same as above. Communal washing and soaking, and then hanging out in hot or cold saunas. However, Korean 찜질방 also often have a lot more feautures. “Akasuri” is very famous, and people travel from Japan to Korea just to go have their skin scrubbed off exfoliated with the infamous “Italy Towel”. (Which is a Korean invention, given the name Italy just to seem fancy.)

I have never been, because its too disturbing to think about 아줌마 hanging around in their undies and scrubbing the ENTIRTY of your naked body with a coarse towel while you like on a table. I can deal with being naked with other naked people, but full out rubbing each others bodies is pretty hardcore for my taste, but everyone else says it’s wonderful, so Kudos to you if you’re brave enough to get the treatment.

You can check out this site for some 찜질방 아줌마 if you really want.

Italy Towels, exfoliators or sandpaper?

  Besides massages, they also have 부항 or “fire cupping” where they make small pots into vaccums with fire and then suction cup them to your back. Places online say that this is supposed to correct the flow of the four humors, but my Korean friends say that if you get particularly dark bruises in a certain area, that means that you have something wrong there, like a stiff shoulder or bad hips etc. Sometimes they make a small cut before they put the cups on to “draw out the bad blood” but we’ve always chosen to keep our blood on the inside when we used our home set.

However, the best part about Korean 찜질방 is that it’s a hangout spot! You can spend ALL DAY there eating snacks, drinking 식혜, watching TV etc. Everyone goes and chats loudly with their friends and just has a good ol’ time. COMPLETELY different atmosphere from the relaxation/sleeping style of Japan.

 The Princess Leia towel look is popular for any age.

The best thing that both have is without a doubt, the ice rooms! Some are just super chilled like a walk-in freezer with wooden benches, and some are rooms with ice/snow falling down and collecting in the middle in a giant mountain of ice. I can’t think of any place I would rather be…

But that hasn’t always been the case.

2)Expensive Story

Last September I was working part time while trying to re-find a stable job (Thanks Lehman Bros), so I could take time off whenever I wanted. When I got accepted to my current company, I took vacation from my part-time job and spent a week in Korea because I figured I wouldn’t get another chance to go for a while since I would be working a 9-6, 5 days a week.

Unfortunately the boy couldn’t get time off from his work, so I ended up booking a flight alone, but made plans to meet up with my friend there. (Korean, but lives in Tokyo like me).

Actually, speaking of which, I asked her to buy my ticket for me because I got rid of my Japanese credit card and it’s cheaper to buy online. Which she nicely enough did, but accidently bought it for the wrong date… as in I got to the airport (for the first time feeling proud that I was on time and prepared) and they told me my ticket was for

Yesterday.

…

(let this ellipses express my shock and anxiety of the time)

So I ended up buying another ticket on the day, for more than 2x the price of the original ticket, thus spending over $1,000 USD for something that should have cost $300. Plus I had to put it on my American credit card. And let me tell you, an exchange rate of 82 cents to 100 yen, SUCKS if you’re buying yen. It was 115 to 80 back in 2004…

Then I bought presents for people at the airport… and they were stolen... because I forgot them in the bathroom stall on the rack for 5 minutes… They were just snacks, but talk about adding insult to injury.

At least I got bumped up to business class because the airport felt sorry for me. My wallet felt sad, by my butt felt businessy for about an hour and a half.

3) On to the Solo Seoul Adventure

I arrived in Seoul and my boyfriend’s cousins picked me up and we went out… DRINKING. BTW, I love. Drinking. (Beer and Soju, I will blog about my love for you later) His cousins and brother had visited us in Tokyo before, so it was like meeting up with friends. I stayed at his sister’s house, who I hadn’t met before, but we all got along well and had parties every day. Wonderful.

Now, you might think that meeting your significant other’s family for the first time without your significant other around would be weird / awkward / why would you do that, but it was fine because his parents and uncles/aunts all live down in Busan, and I was safe in Seoul.

  But then they… got on a train and came up to Seoul and had a big ol’ family reunion. My boyfriend, who wasn’t there, says that they always just decide stuff on whims so it wasn’t a big deal, but I know deep down inside that his parents travelled across the country just to see who their son was dating and then pass judgement. So I met them and was like Hi, I’m Sarah… I can kinda speak Korean, but nope, don’t understand your crazy North Korean roots mixed with Busan dialect Mom.

So, random as random could possibly be, his sister’s family and his brother and I all hopped in a van and met his mom, dad and aunt at the station and then we all set off on a 4 hour road trip to the ocean. At 11:30 at night. On a weekday. So then I was in a car with my boyfriend’s Korean family that I had never met, and did the only thing I could do. Gave his dad some Yesbisu beer which I had brought from Japan, because let’s face it, Korean beer is just water.

Dear Japanese beer, you are quite pleasant in quantities.

Everything was actually ok because they’re great people, but I did a lot of just sitting in silence cause at the time my speaking ability was very low even though I could understand spoken Korean pretty well (Just not his mom’s Korean dialect)

Then the first stop we made was at an empty apartment where we gathered around a table and drank beer and soju. Then we headed straight for the 찜질방 at like 3AM and I got naked with his mom and aunt. I don’t think I could imagine a situation in which I would feel more self-conscious about my naked body, than showering with a potential Korean mother-in-law who I can’t communicate with. So here too, I did the only thing I could and sucked it up and offered to scrub her back in the shower.

Then we went to sleep on mats with wooden blocks as pillows. I will NEVER understand how people are able to sleep with a communal wooden block under their head.

5) In Conclusion

The short version of this story goes: Nice to meet you Korean boyfriend’s mom, I’m the American that lives with your son, I can’t understand you, let’s get naked, I’ll scrub your back.

Although I turned 5 shades of awkward and self-conscious, in the end I think I must have done alright, because they seemed to like me. If any one else is trying to get on a significant other’s Korean family’s good side, I recommend beer for dad and back scrubbing for mom. They kept calling my boyfriend and going on about it, so I must have made the right choice. Whew!